I envy the lucky bastards in Europe and sometimes US where this wonderful desire can come true. But considering the cultural and moral pureness of Indians and the CBFC this is not possible in India. But what the censor board does not realize is that its acts are precisely directed against another axiom of human existance - sex sells! Well...Indian censor does not allow explicit sexual scenes in any movie.. so we have to be happy with the trashy, flowery make believe sex scenes in Bhatt movies where women are not even naked when they seem to be in throes of orgasmic pleasure and the rooms always have scented candles, soft lighting and long white curtains and the stuff ...you know...the crap that is never there in real life... But, the facts I have mentioned above are axioms and cannot be violated by any human actions!
Sex sells, so it has to be there...if not explicitly, something of sexual nature must always be there to get audience in to a theater! Something the big men of Indian cinema had long realised.. so in 70's we had a Raj Kapoor who showed his heroines semi-naked and in a couple of movies almost nearly totally naked( Satyam Sivam Sundaram for those whose brains did not register it so far!)
The operational word here is " nearly totally"! It seems it is morally impure to show a woman completely naked and it is morally harmful for us to watch breasts on big screen( damn! ) But it is ok as long as they have a piece of clothing on their bodies that just about hides the nipples! That is the criterion.. they can wear clothing that reveals everything...well almost!
I shall not make this the point of the blog...for I am at peace with this ridiculous set of rules. Having been born and brought up in a culture that loves trashy movies( esp those of early '90s...rain songs and wet sarees...damn!) I find it endearing and in a certain way vindictive of our hypocritical sexual mores that the richest of the producers can get a women to reveal more and more... hence I wait for a Karan Johar or Yash Chopra movie!
I hate them, their stupid stories...the gaudy sets and stuff... but given the weird dynamics of Indian cinema, theirs are the only movies in which we get to see some of our favourite heroines as near to nakedness as possible. It is only in their movies that women could have a karwa chauth vrat and flirt with their devars while wearing the lowest neck cuts possible(sexual more huh!) Examples in this areas abound...70s and 80s Raj Kapoor... 2000s Karan Johar - be it the Poo character in K3G or the character of Rani Mukherjee - having some BDSM action in KANK( the names are too bloody long...cant type them out in full) we just have to wait for big money to come and grant us some manna of sexual depiction in cinema...
So, I eagerly await the release of big budget movies so that I may ogle at all the beautiful bodies in what has now become a fashion in Indian cinema - BIKINI! I hate bikinis( pronounced bikni in most places in India...rhymes with chikni :D)... all those who are with me - please raise your hands.. I am of the opinion that what a woman in a saree can do to a man is way beyond what one in a bikini can! But then...that is just me! Which is why I like ILLU day ( kgpians would know)!But yep... whether I like it or not...bikini is in and I have to go with the trend!
And so here we come to the point of this post - Minissha Lamba! The lovely, cherubic actress who made her debut in a Kashmir centric love ballad called Yahaan! She was beautiful, ethereal and yet so " girl next door" and all this was heightened by the wonderful cinematography and beautiful locales... a suppressed sensuality which reminded you of innocence, first love, high school crushes, promises of living together forever....everything beautiful about youth!
I watched the movie over and over again...sometimes normal...sometimes doped. And her beauty never failed to capture my imagination. But!(Yes. there is always a BUT!) Men are beasts and the axiom can never be violated. And it was only a matter of time before I thought how she would look naked. But, as explained above, that is not possible on Indian screen.
So, I waited for something that came as close as possible to near nudity on screen – a big banner movie! Proof – look at Amisha in Thoda Pyaar thoda magic…of course it is another thing that Amisha is now desperate enough to throw her clothes off at slightest possible hint of success… sadly that eludes her despite showing off her body…though I am sure that that song would become a cult classic with sad, lonely guys who rove internet for some masala[:D]!
But again, as for Minissha, I was worried that she might not be ambitious enough to make it big on screen(oh! How many young, nubile women have we seen fade away into stardust!) But, luckily she’s proved me wrong! The girl's got balls(literally!) and she is sticking it out.. with the big banners and doing what they seek, to rake in their moolahs…she is exposing…!
Yeah Babay….she is THE hot thing now! Be it the kiss in Bachna Ae Haseeno or the bikini in Kidnap – a movie by an accomplished trashy director – Sanjay Gadhvi – the only director in history of Indian cinema to have given a successful sequel.. . yes Dhoom and Dhoom 2 have some claim to fame… not the kind of movies with which we would have liked to start off with the sequel trend in Indian cinema…but well…u cant have all you want man! You either get semi naked chicks or you get good movies!
She is hot! And all the promise of sensuality in the girl next door has turned into oomph and sexuality on screen and as a man, I love it! Here is wishing this ambitious, young girl ( yup – she is just one year older to me…and see where she is…and where I am!! ) all the best and hoping that she becomes very successful and acts in many many more big banner movies!
All the men who are with me ( and if there are women too, all the more better....btw...are there really any lesbians in India?) please reply in ayes! And all those who think I am a pervert, I shall refer you to Steve's impassioned rant on 104 - coupling. -Jill: [about the film "Lesbian Spank Inferno"] How could you possibly enjoy a film like that?
Steve: Oh, because it's got naked women in it! Look, I like naked women! I'm a bloke! I'm supposed to like them! We're born like that. We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one. Halfway down the birth canal we're already enjoying the view. Look, it's the four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche. We like: naked women, stockings, lesbians, and Sean Connery best as James Bond. Because that is what being a bloke is. And if you don't like it, darling, join a film collective.
Look, I want to spend the rest of my life with the woman at the end of the table here. But that does not stop me wanting to see several thousand more naked bottoms before I die. Because that's what being a bloke is. When Man invented fire, he didn't say "Hey, let's cook!" He said: "Great! Now we can see naked bottoms in the dark!" As soon as Caxton invented the printing press we were using it to make pictures of - hey! - naked bottoms. We've turned the Internet into an enormous international database of... naked bottoms. So, you see, the story of male achievement through the ages - feeble though it may have been - has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms.
Frankly, girls, I'm not so sure how insulted you really ought to be.
P.S. : Something that you might catch Vamsi - her DOB - 18th Jan, 1985!
1 comment:
Lolling at your obsession with the lamba babe and her nakedness!.. btw there's a comment on my previous post for your attention... or was it for my attention? ;)
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